What Shigeko Said
by LiamJJohnson
Summary: On the eve of Shigeko's 3rd birthday, Otori Takeo is alone, trapped and surrounded as he attempts to infiltrate a Kikuta village, which he suspects may be being controlled by Akio himself. As the rain eases, the tribal beast within is flexes it's claws.
1. Overture

**WHAT SHIGEKO SAID**

**1. Overture**

The shock was axiomatic as he slashed through thin air; his brain barely with the time to register my disappearing second self before I jammed the knife into his lower back. The silent death: pain so sudden and intense you forget to scream. I made doubly sure of no incriminating sound with the garrote and swiftly placed the newly deceased behind a partition of the guard house- a sanctuary where I felt sure he would not be found. Using the bed sheets I cleansed my knife and began to unpack several items from my linen. As I began to mix, I closed my eyes, channelling my hearing- a double-edged sword on a night like this. The rapidly falling rain on the guard house roof sounded like a battalion of galloping horses to my ears. I brushed it aside. I focused.

Kenji's information was incorrect. Thirty-two he had told me, including the guards. After a few brisk moments I was left with no doubt that there were as many as twice that amount in the village alone. This, and the pounding symphony of the rain blurring my hearing made me feel on edge. I did not doubt Kenji's allegiance for a moment, a feeling I would never have thought to have comforted me, however I knew this was no coincidence. Somebody had known I was coming. This explained the relative silence of the village: with the exception of a few rowdy rank and file, obviously intoxicated and with little or no clue what they were facing, no other voices could be heard. Just ever so slight turns of breath, slow and deep. In the effort of taking down the guard I had thought those turns of breath to be of sleep but now, knelt down and head bowed I knew for sure that nobody was sleeping in this village tonight. They were waiting for me.

I added the water to my freshly mixed powder, taking extra care not to make any splashes, though I doubt they would've been heard over the rain. I meditated. I knew retreating now would be pointless. My mysteriously easy entry into the village now becoming clear, I knew that returning the way I came would lead me into a death trap. They had drawn me in, and now they knew I was surrounded. The rain intensified and I heard drops begin to leak in from the roof. The rain. They had planned for the rain. They were counting on it, they knew I couldn't spot them completely with it. The cold steel of the Kikuta began to stir within me, the fierce beast of death demanding me to unleash it and let it run free. I stood firm. I let my hands run a pull through it's hair, whilst whispering in it's ear. Not yet. Not yet. Rain didn't last forever.

In the darkness I waited. My hearing fell into a secure current, waiting for the rain to ease, probing for any sound of movement. My Otori nature took over- the inherent patience sustaining me. My thoughts shifted to Kaede, sat as she would be in Hagi, singing Shigeko to sleep, the soft melodies reverberating in her mind. Again, for what must've been the fifteenth time that day, I replayed in my mind the look that had crossed her beautiful infant face as Kaede had told her she would soon have a little brother or sister. The slightest flicker of a smile almost breached my lips. I remembered the plea in Kaede's voice when she'd kissed me goodbye three days ago, I knew she dreaded the thought of those children growing up without a father. The beast within stirred again, that idea making it roar with rage.

A foul scent roused me from my musings, and I flicked my eyes open. My powder had finally bonded within the fluid, and the stench was repugnant. I quickly turned away from the bowl, and began to withdraw my arrows from their quiver. I had just placed the tip of the first within the fluid when my hearing caused my body to stop dead. It was there, concealed partially by the rain but there without question. The cushioned pressure of footfall over the soggy ground. Stealthed, and drenched with commited lethal intent. I drew into my mind, as my body disappeared from sight.


	2. Duet

**WHAT SHIGEKO SAID**

**2. Duet**

I covered my mouth with one hand, gripped the garrote with the other. With raindrops dripping off my nose I waited, crouched atop of the guard house, a viper waiting to pounce. My vision obscured by the lack of light and the downpour I allowed my hearing to guide me. I felt the footsteps come ever closer, faster now, almost a frantic nature about them. Still soft and light but yet... dense. Footsteps that seemed to take no heed in the nature of who might hear them. Doubt crept into my mind; my Kikuta armour cracking ever so slightly. I held it in place- never again would I underestimate an agent of the Kikuta clan. They were close now, not a hundred feet from me. I would have to be quick. My body tensed. I coiled the garrote. Time became obsolete and I leaped.

I softly mopped the dirt off her brow. She looked up at me with eyes that were sure she were gazing on the manifestation of evil itself. My guilt at assaulting a small child smothered my burning anger at how the Kikuta brainwashed these poor children, giving them no chance at ever making a decision for themselves. She knew who I was, she believed I was nothing more than a heartless murderer, and I'd just constricted a garrote around her throat, the red mark of which a blotch on her soft caramel skin. Her body shaking from the cold rain and terror she spoke to me.

"Are you going to kill me?" she stuttered.

I listened. The rain continued to pound mercilessly on the roof. My instincts warned against speaking, but my need to assure this horrified child took over, and I was fairly sure soft spoken words would not be heard over the rain.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I assured.

"You have hurt me," she cried, "you hurt my throat!"

I could no longer look at her. "I thought you were coming to hurt me. I thought you were someone else," I choked.

"Papa said you would come," she began, "he said you would find us. You're here to kill everyone!"

"I am not," was all I could manage.

"Yes you are! You're Otori Takeo" she accused, "that's why you have all of them!"

She indicated Jato, and my selection of knifes on the table. "You're going to kill everyone with those!"

I turned towards the window and listened, her words still ringing through my head. I heard no change; no commotion.

"What's your name?" I asked, approaching the bed.

She swallowed a lump in her throat as I crouched. "Amaya," she answered.

"Amaya. I give you an oath that I will not kill you and I am sorry that I hurt you. I'm not the person they say I am."

"You are! You're a monster! You kill people. You've brought those to kill more people. You're going to kill my family!, " she moaned, tears beginning to well in her eyes.

"They aren't for your family," I mumbled, knowing full well I could be lying. I grabbed a piece of linen from the side and handed it to her. "Here," I said, "for your eyes."

She took it... and spat on it. As she did I noticed her palms, and saw they were missing the identifying mark of the Kikuta. There were Muto and Kondo here. This concerned me. Those two clans were supposed to be united under Kenji.

"You should dry your eyes," I claimed, offering another piece of linen.

"I'm not taking anything of yours! You put poison in things!"

"I have not put any poison on this, I just want you to stop crying, I promise."

She was working herself into a frenzy. Her desperation fuelled by lies, her fear was giving way to need. Her need to survive. "You're lying!" she shouted as she jumped on me and started to hit me.

I grabbed a hold of her hands, "Ayama, please," I began but before I could finish she bit into my finger. I wrenched it out and pinned her arms down to her sides. She fought against me with all her might, beginning to scream as I prevented her from moving.

"Ayama, stop." She didn't. She was mortally afraid, and I knew there was no way I was going to convince her, not after I'd attacked her. I felt regret at knowing what must be done, but I dare not allow this struggle to alert anyone of my whereabouts. I grabbed a hold of her head and held her gaze to mine. I let the Kikuta flow through my gaze, and I watched as her sodden red eyes went wide with shock and fear, saw in that infinite moment of time her pupils rapidly dilate and her eyelids close. Her body went limp in mine as I held her head against my shoulder.

"Forgive me," I spoke in rhetoric. I lay her down on the bed and placed a blanket over her body. It was only now that I had a moment to think that I questioned what a small girl was doing coming out here in the rain. A thought struck me, and I had a brief look at the guard I had killed when I entered. I was right.

I closed the door behind me and stepped into the mud. As dangerous as I knew it was to be roaming, I couldn't allow the chance that the incident in the guard house had alerted anyone. Within seconds my clothes were drenched. Saturated clothes were a problem; I knew I would have to find some sanctuary from the rain. I focused my hearing intently. I could hear distant movement and I knew something was changing. Rain pelting against my face, I walked out into the night


	3. Arietta

**WHAT SHIGEKO SAID**

**3. Arietta**

I slid behind an oak on the outskirts of the village and drew my hood closed, tying the drawstring in a tight loop. The rain had begun to ease slightly, yet my body shivered none-the-less. I tuned my hearing and felt confident that the closed grove of oaks I had found remained a safe distance from any who would do me harm. With the rain easing, I knew that soon I must initiate. I would be able to spot them, as they would likely me. The tribal beast within purred; the blood was in the water.

Several years ago, on a quiet, peaceful evening in Terayama, Makoto had once introduced me to a deep red fluid he called "wine". When I asked him what it was he claimed it was a sacred substance gathered by the Abbot for worship ceremonies. It came from the Capital, acquired by the Emperor himself, so the Abbot presumed it came from overseas. Makoto, however, broke the temple's rules, smuggling out a bottle the time he abstained from the temple, to comfort him in the times my ghost was most "persistent". His discovery was that the fluid, drank in non-ceremonial amounts was far more addictive than he previously realised. For weeks he told me tales of how its effects ranged from warmth, deep within to a light-headed glaze, inspiring feelings of euphoria and pleasure. It wasn't until that peaceful evening, in which Kaede was causing me great inner pain that I accepted his offer of some, and I soon understood its appeal. Its effects were so powerful I feared it, feared what it could do to me and I never tried it again.

Stood in-between the oaks, the warm sickly satisfaction, the temptation of sweet release that I knew came along with the unleashing of the tribal beast within, reminded me of the wine, and reminded me of why my grip on her must remain strong, for myself, for everyone, for Shigeko, Kaede, and for whom she carried within. I crouched down and rested my head against the nearest oak, and with the rain crackling against the leaves, I waited.

...

_Shigeko looked up at me with wide eyes. Still confused by the presence of hair on my face she seemed to assume I needed a wash. Kaede, stood next to me, laid her head on my shoulder, apparently exhausted by the day's events. I had been away for a while, too long, but the early winter had forced me to stay in Inuyama whilst the snow cleared. I had used the opportunity to strengthen diplomatic relations with the smaller regions of the Middle Country. A successful campaign, and my retainers were all predicting the most fruitful harvest since Yaegahara, but standing in front of my infant girl, looking up with her naturally inquisitive eyes and with Kaede's breath drifting wistfully across my cheek the father and husband in me wished only for a simple life with which I could share with my two beautiful ladies. _

"_She's tired," declared Kaede, "she needs her rest."_

"_She's not alone in that," I quipped, flicking my eyes from daughter to wife._

"_I don't intend to rest tonight Lord Otori," she provoked._

"_It might be an idea," I mused, "the journey today has fatigued me greatly."_

_Kaede lifted her head from my shoulder and squared to me. I held her gaze as long as I dared._

"_Tough," she declared. _

_A smile breaking onto my face, I pushed aside anticipation and turned to Shigeko, before lifting her freshly bathed and dressed body from her cot. A stab of pain shot through my right hand as I lifted her, causing me to brush aside my past and gaze into the face of my present. Looking into the glowing face of my daughter, already bearing all the signs of her mother, my heart missed a beat as I spoke her name in a slow, silly voice, whilst pulling a face, in a way which I had done since her birth._

"_Shi-ge-ko!" I sang. I saw her eyes widen, and I knew she was surprised; I saw the skin on her cheeks tauten, and I knew the was about to smile; I saw her smile; I heard the vibration of her deepest vocal cord, and I knew she was about to laugh; she laughed, I laughed, and I closed my arms around her in a tight embrace. This was the only time I was truly thankful for my Kikuta eyes, in that I could enjoy her reactions as thoroughly as I did._

"_Ah, I've missed you!" I exclaimed, and rested her on one arm so I could tickle her. I tortured her intently running my fingers across her belly and sides, her high pitched squealing and giggling setting me off too. I caught Kaede's glance over Shigeko's shoulder and a silent look passed between us confirming what the other was thinking, that this child completed us. As I ceased with the tickling, she made several incoherent noises before beginning to play with my beard, tugging at it, expecting it to detach from my face any moment. This drew a deep laugh from Kaede as Shigeko pulled harder and harder, trying to rip it off my face._

"_Ow! Ow! Alright, alright enough!" I moaned, placing her back in her cot and rubbing my face._

_Kaede cackled behind me, "Ha! See, she agrees, you look stupid with that beard," she spat, her face gleaming with pride in her daughter. _

"_It's a warrior's beard," I protested, "remember I run the three countries now Kaede, I need to look the part."_

"_Yeah you do," she retorted, "therefore you can look however you want."_

"_Yeah I do," I returned, "I also can do whatever I want."_

"_Really?" she teased._

"_Really," I confirmed, "to whomever I want as well."_

_Kaede's brows rose and her mouth contorted, recognising the subtext in what I'd said, "yeah well so can I, so shave, Lord Otori, and then we'll stratagise."_

_I sighed as I looked upon the two ladies in my life, "I really liked this beard," I moaned._

...

I closed my hand across my chin, feeling the prickly resistance of a week's unkept face. It was probably a good thing I was relatively clean shaven, the contrast a beard would've given to my face would've been distinguishable from a certain distance. I'd cut my hair too, from the Otori style to that of the Tribe. I hated that hair cut, but it was done for a reason, it suited stealth, and I found a certain irony in it which pleased me. I was always listening. The rain was not half as fierce as it was a couple of hours ago, and I began to spot the placement of the men in the close vicinity to me. The commanding residence would undoubtably be in the middle of the village, so whichever way I was looking at a long, violent night's work. I felt a wave of revultion cascade up my chest; in the moments when I thought about what I was doing, about the life I was preparing to take, I felt like I was the monster Amaya said I was, and I despised that the beast within roared with pleasure at the thought of the brutality. Yet I knew there was no choice. I thought back to my infant child's face, the playful glee in her eyes, and I was determined that she would never see the horror that the cruel nature of men could bring. The Kikuta must be cleansed, and I had to be the one to do it.

Forcing the image of Shigeko out of my mind, I drew into myself, felt my body disapear from sight, and began to move from the circle of oaks. I felt the sheer power of the beast as she pulled against the leash I was beginning to uncoil. My eyes contorted, my breath settled. I tested the intruments, and prepared to strike the first cord. My rhetoric elegy was about to begin.


	4. Modulatio Expressio I

**WHAT SHIGEKO SAID**

**4. (Modulatio) Expressio I**

[UNUS]

She slithered along the sodden ground, body tense and taut. With a wealth of stealthed death dripping from her paws, she leaped up onto the supply shed and crouched; a chameleon to prying eyes. Her ears twitched as she discerned the almost silent vibration of air leaving the body of an agent. With brilliant piercing eyes, she followed the sound to it's source; a man stood rigid against the side of the house, one hand closed around what she guessed was a Shuriken, the other on the Katana at his waist. He was hidden almost perfectly, his form blending in with the shape of the house. She heard another man somewhat above, on the roof without question. If she didn't want the whole house to be raised in alarm, both would have to be silenced in unison. Drawing the Yumi from her back, she crept forward, making extra care to avoid the plank which would squeak- a fact she was sure of from the slightly raised pitch of the planks she had just pawed across, and took a position just from the edge of the roof.

Glancing upwards, she spotted against the falling rain the slight distortion of breath crystallising, it's source hidden from sight. She herself, who had not released a breath since she approached the shed, understood that this man had been posted on that roof for hours, and was beginning to lose stamina. She couldn't risk his body falling off the roof; he must go first. She drew from it's quiver the first of eight spiked arrows, and loaded the bow. Checking that her first Shuriken was loose in it's pouch, she drew slowly, making certain of no sound from the straining bowstring. She took only a moment to revel in the intoxicating pleasure of silent murder, before snapping open her fingers, and immediately looking away, not needing any visual confirmation that her arrow had penetrated totally the throat of its poor, helpless victim; a man, with paralysing poison surging through his veins; a man who had been dead the moment he stepped foot onto that roof.

[DUO]

The body of the first man had not yet slumped to the roof before she'd released the Shuriken. This time she watched everything: watched as his head turned ever so slightly as he heard the release of the blade, watched as his hands and body rapidly tried to release his own weapon and watched as the slight glint of his eye betrayed that he knew he would never make it. She took pleasure in knowing that, in those infinite Kikuta moments of time he would've realised that she got him, indeed the last recognition he would ever make. The eight pronged wheel tackled his forehead at breathtaking speed, a perfect split, four prongs into the brain, the other four left to gleam in triumph. As her form became true, he slumped to the ground, hand still clutching his dagger.

[TRES]

The third man's death was slower, his demise not as clean as she'd hoped. By a stroke of luck, he'd moved as she launched, the blade had stuck in the wall. However pride is a dangerous thing, in fact the Kikuta's fatal flaw, rather than alert the house of her presence, he choice to fight one-on-one. Like a cat whose tail had been trod upon, he leaped from the shadows with intent; the Tanto slashing both left and right, his target was her neck. The small room in which they fought, left no room for careless mistakes; which is why when she shifted under and down, he met his bloody fate. Cornered by the walls and with nowhere to move he had no chance of avoiding the blade. She spun with the grace of a swan, Jato leaping from her grasp; she bowed her head in reverence, her third melody complete.

[QUATTUOR]

She had but a second to duck as the quad-blade whistled overhead. Rolling sideways, bridging up, she used Jato to deflect the knives. Making a piercing war cry, he drew Katana, wielding with blinding speed. Her legs her only defence, she twisted, wrapped around, and spiralled herself up his body. Resisting his attempts to throw her down, she drew the first Tanto and drove it through his neck. She felt the tingling through her legs as the body below her contorted in violent shock. She rode his fall as his body crumpled, exhaling in victory as it did. His cry had sent shock-waves through the house though, and she knew now that all knew she was here. She felt the raw power of battle within her; felt every muscle come alive at it's wake. She was forced to control her breathing as she heard the first begin to move.

[QUINQUE]

She slithered along the wall, hugging it's every curve. In this brief calm before the storm, she couldn't help but take notice of the house she was in. Naked. Totally naked. Devoid of furniture, plant life of any kind, not even fabric to be found. In many ways a representation, a symbol, of the Kikuta mind. No consideration for comforts or material pleasures, just the total, practical need to fulfil your Tribal nature; with which there was no room for anything else. She recognised this need; this battle ground was as much hers as it was theirs.

She was simply not prepared to indulge in another battle. Now that they knew she was here they had taken defensive positions, and were holding ground. It was her turn to attack. She spotted the first hung from the roof, like a bat in its time of rest. She allowed for a moment of appreciation for the brilliant stealth of the man, before sending her second self right, along the edges of the wall, and walking herself into the centre of the floor. She knew the man had spotted her, but underestimated her resolve. He suddenly dropped to the ground, landing softly, ignoring her and casting a blade perfectly through the skull of her second self. He didn't even see the blade hit the wall before she wrapped the garrote around his neck and twisted, inter-locking her legs around his neck in a triangle shape, dropping down onto her back.

He took an age to die, and she revelled in every moment of it. She lay there, her legs absolute in their grip around his neck, and watched as the hue of his face deepened, as vessels began to show in his eyes. Watched as his tongue became ever more flaccid, as his breathing became ever more slow. And she revelled in every moment of it. As his body finally fell still, she uncoiled her legs and lay there, on her back, panting, letting the feeling wash out of her, and the clarity return to her mind. She could still pick out another six bodies in the house alone. The violence was just getting started. And she revelled in every moment of it.


	5. Modulatio Expressio II: Divertimento

**WHAT SHIGEKO SAID**

**4. (Modulatio) Expressio II: Divertimento**

_I had closed my eyes in an effort to enhance my other senses. Kaede had been draped over me, her breathing becoming ever more steady for a good few minutes now. Her arms were clasped loosely around my neck and and her body ran parallel to mine, my right leg nestled in-between hers. My mind had been blown. She had missed me, a lot. With my eyes closed, I did my best to limit what I could hear to her breathing, long and slow; her heartbeat slightly irregular, almost like it was missing a beat, recovering from it's recent intense workout. Distantly, in the next room, I could hear Shigeko mumbling incoherently- having another dream then. She mumbled and even giggled occasionally when she dreamt, just like her mother. It was in these moments that all the troubles of the Three Countries were purged from my life; all the diplomatic negotiations with the Seishuu, the restoration of Tsuwano, the truce with the Muto and Kondo, and especially the battle with the Kikuta, none of it seemed to matter, although I knew of course it mattered very dearly. _

_My body had never felt so alive. I had missed her, a lot. I revelled in every inch of her; our bodies becoming ever cooler, the dampness of sweat causing a shiver in her as we cooled. I placed a blanket over us, and felt a small moan of approval from Kaede as she shuffled slightly to rest on her side, leaving a leg resting on mine, her head nestled against on my chest. I methodically pawed her lower back and felt a slight vibration as she responded to the stimulation. I opened my eyes, and watched the flickering flames of the dying candles dance across her neck. Her eyes were softly shut and I felt sleep creeping within, before Kaede stirred against me, and sat up slightly gazing upon me._

"_Takeo," she whispered, "tell me the future."_

_Were it not for the sensual moment I might have chuckled, "the future is hidden from all of us my dear," I replied._

"_But you know... you know what is next right? For us." she inquired._

"_For us as a family or for us as the rulers of the Three Countries?"_

"_Both. They are one and the same."_

_I sighed, not really wishing to ruin the moment with worrying issues. "Must we talk about this now?" I protested._

_Kaede was hesitant in her reply. "I... I've just been thinking about the future a lot recently, it's been hard not having you around."_

_I sat up also, concerned slightly by the hesitation in her voice, "Kaede what is it?" I queried._

_She looked at me squarely, I was forced to settle for gazing at her mouth. "What chance is there that this all may one day be over? It's been three years Takeo. Three years since the earthquake and still you spend so much of your life battling those who would see you damned and disgraced." She paused, choosing her words, "Still we get tales everyday of fighting, blood spilled, people killed. I guess, I just worry sometimes it may stay this way for ever."_

_I looked away, anger rippling under the surface. "People of this generation have been brought up in times of constant war, oppression and hatred. Decades worth of it. In many ways it's all they know. True peace, the likes of which we are fighting for is alien to them. Change of that magnitude never happens overnight, but we will win. Once they see the harvest this spring, once they understand what we are fighting for and what it means to them, they will come to see that we are right, and they were wrong to doubt our motives," I explained. Kaede, still looking unsure didn't reply. "We will win Kaede. That much I can say."_

_She looked down, and my alert heightened even more so. I noticed that her right hand had settled on her lower torso bizarrely, and I felt she there was something else she wasn't saying. Suddenly, I felt akin to the uncertainty she must have felt in my long absence, worrying that something could've happened to me, dreading every retainer who came to her with news in case it was news of my ill fortune. I lifted her gaze to mine, allowing just enough contact for me to reassure her. "We're here and we're healthy. Shigeko is here, and healthy. And we will win," I declared. _

_The thought of Shigeko suddenly cast a new light on her despair. "Of course, it's her you're worried about isn't it? Worried that something could happen to her?"_

_Kaede finally spoke up. "I don't worry for her safety Takeo. I don't worry that anyone could get to her here in Hagi, for whatever reason they might want to. What I worry about is that she might grow up to the same life I have. Forced to fight the cruel nature of men, and dance around warlords' stupid pride."_

"_She may inherit the Three Countries Kaede. She will be strong, like you," I argued._

"_I don't want her to have to be strong like me, I want her to be happy," she protested._

"_You're not happy?" _

"_I... I am but I worry Takeo. I worry about you. I worry that you might be found dead with a knife in your neck or a poisoned fruit in your hand. The Kikuta will never concede defeat," she stated._

_The ripples inside intensified. She continued: "You will never win them over with negotiations and diplomacy. They will hunt you until you lay dead, and your name ruined. They will kill all of us before they rest," she proclaimed._

"_They have not got near to us yet!" I spat, "and I will see them ruined before they come within fifty leagues of Shigeko."_

_Kaede's body seemed to tense. "I will not stop worrying so long as they exist Takeo. So long as they pose a threat to this family. How can you expect me to raise Shigeko and-" she stopped, suddenly._

_I was becoming frustrated with her hesitation. "And what Kaede?" I demanded._

_Suddenly, all her anxiety seemed to vanish from her and she looked up at me with a glowing smile._

"_I'm pregnant Takeo."_

…

She lifted an arrow from the quiver, slotting it into the bow with absolute precision. The man below her was focused in depth upon the door frame to his left, spiked as it was with a tripwire across it's base. A flutter of pure pleasure sizzled across her torso as she realised this pathetic man was about to meet his fate without the chance to face it. Cruel, but beautiful. She felt herself connect with the bowstring, her body tense, and flushed with the power of mortality. However, the second before her sweet release became her, her ears twitched with the sudden sound of a figure behind her. She spun suddenly and brilliantly, in one fluid movement releasing the bowstring, the arrow cast straight into where she estimated the forehead would be.

[SEX]

The arrow protruding from the head, the body of a five year old girl collapsed to the ground, dead in an instant, eyes still bearing the curious look of a young child, whom had been woken by a noise, and had come to the landing to see what it was. She stopped dead in her tracks, shock riveting through her body. Through the intoxicating power of the Kikuta, horror, remorse, dread, grief and the face of Otori Shigeko, whose 3rd birthday had but ten minutes ago begun, slammed into focus.

I felt fluid in my eyes as I looked upon the sickeningly still frame, life ripped from a body barely a half decade old. Life I had ripped away. Suddenly, my actions came into focus, and I dropped to my knees, murder beginning to trickle down my cheeks.


	6. Modulatio Expressio III

**WHAT SHIGEKO SAID**

**4. (Modulatio) Expressio III**

The splat of the tear-drop on the ground may as well have been a gong strike to my ears. My breath caught in my throat and my hands shook at the sight of the felled child, the arrow perfectly centre in her forehead: a physical manifestation of my shredded spirit; my engulfing revulsion. Suddenly, I felt the life I had taken weigh down upon me, a crushing force that she had shielded me from; she was gone now, she had ran and left me with her latest victim. I felt total grief, absolute despair shatter through me. I wanted to scream, wanted to wail, so that I may purge this emotional poison from my body; from my mind, yet I knelt in silence, trapped in a maelstrom of misery. I wasn't aware of how long I knelt there, time seemed immaterial. I observed how easily life could be taken; my mind became plagued by dark thoughts. I remembered the teachings of my mother, the teachings of the Hidden, how they claimed life was sacred and how the taking of life was the deepest sin. Looking at the small child whose sacred life had been lost with one small staff of wood and metal, I demanded Him to tell me: if life was so sacred, then why was it so easy to take?

Against my better judgement I slowly yanked the incriminating arrow from the skull of the child and softly slid the lids shut over her still frightened eyes. My ears warned me of trouble, but I took this one moment to whisper my guilty apologies and prayed that the spirits would comfort her. She was one of theirs now.

[SEPTEM]

I'd waited too long. I had given positional advantage to my enemy; now I was cornered, and he knew it. I took on invisibility, and recoiled slightly at how much effort it took to induce it. I was tiring, rapidly. Springing in from the doorway, he lobbed a blade at, where he perceived me to be- a considerable distance from where I actually was. Capitalising, I dashed at him, unleashing Jato, before a stunning pain pierced through my right hand as if it had been stabbed itself. The pain caused a momentary hesitation in my strike, and it was all he needed. With remarkable physical strength he kicked Jato from my grasp and swung his own sword towards where I should have been. As it would be, his kick had been so powerful, I had been knocked off balance and stumbled- a stumble which in turn, saved my life. His blade missed, and I used both legs to pincer his arm, wrenching the sword away from him. Left weapon-less, I was certain he couldn't beat me now.

My confidence wasn't justified.

He swung suddenly, a powerful backhand blow which connected perfectly with my jaw and sent me crumpling to the floor. I had not the time to wonder how he had caught me before he had pounced, hands coiled around my throat in a perfect constriction, compressing the most vulnerable spots in a way taught only by the Kikuta. As the blood began to swamp my head, only then did I notice that my body was visible- and now I understood how he'd hit me. I had lost my grip on my Kikuta birthright. Fatigue, or lack of commitment, either way, it had cost me, and I was caught. I felt my vision begin to blur, his hooded figure above me swimming out of focus. My body instinctively wanted to thrash and claw, to do anything to break the fatal grip around my neck. I fought to keep it under control, relaxing my muscles and channelling all my desperation into one single effort. I caught him slightly off-guard. Assuming I was losing consciousness he relaxed if only partially. I pulled my legs up, and span my hips, rolling, taking him with me. In the roll, his hood slipped from his head, exposing his face. Inter-locking my fingers behind his neck, I dragged his gaze to mine, as we lay side-by-side on the ground.

The Kikuta sleep is the one tribal ability of mine I had never fully wielded. It was why I was so cautious about holding eye contact- too many times in the past had it slipped through my net; through my eyes, and cast a friend, child or lover into a cold, unbreakable sleep. I had once seen my own eyes reflected and I have since not dared to look again. Woven in the contours of blue, a swordfish deep beneath the surface, I was sure I had seen movement; a subtle ripple, a ripple which could become a torrent at a moment's notice. A Kikuta creature, disobedient yet loyal. Sometimes it shot so easily from within, other times, tired, reluctant, it seemed to have a mind of it's own. Tonight though, he came at my first, desperate beckoning. My enemy knew what was coming, and tried to break free of my grasp, but I held fast, forcing his gaze. The creature attacked, and he succumbed, his mind with no choice but to slumber.

I slacked back, letting the air get through to my body again. My breathing steadied as the room came back into focus. I sat up, my jaw sore from where he'd hit me, and turned to face him, head laid on the ground, lips pursed as his breath came slowly from his nose. Another issue with the Kikuta sleep was I had no idea how long it would hold for. In the past it had ranged from minutes to days, and once indefinitely. I knew what I must do. I knew I could not afford to take the risk. I unsheathed a poisoned Tanto from my belt, and holding my breath and looking away I drove it into his neck. He would be dead within minutes. I gathered Jato from where she'd fell, my hand still sore with it's grip. My head ringing I walked from that vile room.

[OCTO]

In the face of such pain I had no time for morals. She was gone, I was left to finish her work. The scuffle upstairs had alerted the remainder of the house. Four men, I counted. Two below, two by the exit. I had no time for inhibitions. For Shigeko, and those alike, I made to kill them all.

The first of the final quad fell to an arrow, although it took two to take him down. With lightning reflexes, he deflected the first but his movement let him down. Predictably he pivoted to the left, looking up for the source, finding only an empty space where I had previously been standing. Preparing to unleash a quad-blade, he was met first by the second. The sharp point finding it's target at the Adam's apple, he fell, crimson saturating his robe as he did. Octave.

[NOVEM]

He had but a second to duck as the Shuriken whistled overhead. Launching one of his own, he fell to a knee as my full weight dropped upon him from above. Drawing a Tanto, I made for the neck, yet he spiralled, and dislodged me, sending me crashing to the floor. Katana drew, he drove for the torso, his blade becoming lodged in the ground as I cast myself to the right. Abandoning it, he instead drew his Wakizashi, but had not so much as chosen a target before Jato leaped, the blade entering the body silver, leaving red. I pulled it through and swung for the neck, catching his head as it fell from his shoulders. Cringing, I laid it down as it's eyes finally froze.

[DECEM]/[UNDECIM]

Body aching and mind reeling, I crept from the main room back the way I had came. I thought briefly about what was yet to come, how this was only the first step in a siege that could make or break me. Make or break the Three Countries. I would need to recover my strength, I had prepared for that. I hadn't prepared for recovering my resolve. I felt like I was rapidly running out, although stood, Shuriken grasped, against the wall, I supposed it didn't really matter. I might have nightmares about this night for the rest of my life; might struggle with the morality of it all until the end of my days; I might even become the monster they said I was, truth be told, my tired mind was numb, and I felt nothing for it anymore.

I spotted the final two stood adjacent to each other on either side of the room, a narrow strip of passage between them to the door. Had I been able to take on invisibility, I would've taken them both with Jato. As it were, I was forced to choose a riskier option, and use the Shurikens. I would have one chance. Only one time with the element of surprise on my side. I figured if I failed, if I missed, I would have a knife in my throat. I prayed my hearing be true this day. I rolled from my vantage point right, exposing myself squarely to the two agents. As predicted, they launched the throwing knives and would've struck had I not already have rolled again, this time forward, taking myself in-between them. I cast the Shurikens on diagonals from the opposite hand, and watched as both blades flew simultaneously, crashing into the foreheads of the two agents. They both fell together, meeting in the middle, a union of the freshly deceased.

I exhaled, the first sound emmiting from my mouth since I initiated. My arms ached, my jaw was swollen, my mind was hazy from all that had occurred in this house. I had taken ten hostiles and one innoncent girl. My heart ached for her. I knew inside that she would've grown to become another that would hate me, intend me harm, maybe try and kill me, but that gave me little solace. No ammount of mitigation could wipe the image of her fallen body from my mind.

I began to consider my next steps. The house I had taken offered a stronghold, I was sure I could defend any attackers here with relative ease. I knew I would have to progress from here into the main hub of the village before dawn broke, I would need the cover of night to-

I saw a flash of silver through the air after I heard it. I recoiled as best I could, but I felt the cold steel draw across my shoulder all the same. By all rights I should have been dead. In recollection, I wasn't entirely sure what it was that had saved me. I was certain there was no other person in that house, he had the full drop on me. I have since considered that he could have simply missed, but agents of the Kikuta don't simply miss an open target. It is a comforting thought to think that he may have had mercy, or some other thought that swayed his hand, but I had been amongst the tribe long enough to dispel any such notion. The Kikuta train extensively so that chance, and chance's influence is minimised, if not neutralised entirely, but no amount of training can ever truly give one man complete control of any situation. I like to think that through all the plotting, training and meticulous execution perhaps once, that one time, I just got lucky.

His attack having failed, whatever doubt there may have been vanished. He lunged from the shadows, blade first, my torso the target. Relying on reflex alone I leaped backwards, swerved right, and delivered an open palm shot to the side of the neck. Winded, he stumbled and I followed up with a lifted knee under the chin. He fell against me, cold, and I allowed Jato to sing his swansong.

[DUODECIM]

Panting, I quickly swept around, making doubly sure there was no-one else alive in the house. Once I was certain, only then did I stop to notice the trail of blood I was leaving in my wake. I examined my shoulder, assessing the perfectly straight wound. It was deep. Not fatally deep, but deep enough to cause me great concern. I would have to find a way to staunch the blood flow, cauterize the wound. Internally, I winced already at the thought of the pain.

As I gathered together my things and settled down to the ground, the bodies of twelve spread all around me, I began to prepare kindling, wondering how I was going to complete my mission with a badly wounded shoulder. In theory it shouldn't be an issue, just an extreme ammount of pain. As my focus began to drift and my mind settle into the slow-wave state of meditation, the one thought that took the longest to fade was: for the pain I was about to receive I shouldn't be bitter. For it was pain that I needed. Pain I deserved.


	7. Cadenza

**WHAT SHIGEKO SAID**

**5. Cadenza**

The kindling came to life before my eyes, shadows dancing on the walls. Around me, multiple pools of blood, beginning to dry circled around their various victims. I knelt on both knees, my own blood tainting the floor, surrounded by the fruits of my mortal labour; every one of them bitter. My shoulder was stinging immensely from where I'd been slashed, but the blood loss was the zenith of my troubles. I knew, without question, that if that wound, as deep as it was, were to be left unattended I would be so week from the loss of blood, I may as well have surrendered now. Had I the time and place I would've treated it properly with water and bandages- as it was my only chance lay with the fire cackling in front of me, well aware of the pain it was about to cause.

I stared into it only for a moment, fighting back my body's pleas, the sorry skin shaking in anticipation of what it was about to receive. In my mind, I imagined my mouth sown shut, unable to open, my screams muffled by the sealed lips. I inhaled deeply, and with not a tremble in my good arm lifted a large chunk of wood from the congregation, the end a gleam with rippling flames. I threw my head back and began to count.

1... 2... 3...

I lifted the flames to my wounded shoulder. They connected.

4... 5... 6...

…

_I had laid awake for too long. I guessed it was well into the morning before I'd decided sleep was not going to come this night. Kaede, on the other hand, had been sleeping deeply for a while now, occasionally murmuring incoherently and nestling closer to me. I had felt frustrated and somewhat anxious wide awake for as long as I'd been. I had decided to get up and get some water in an attempt to relax my mind. Slipping on a free robe, drawing it shut against the mild chill, I'd heard a noise from Shigeko's room as I moved towards the kitchen. Peeping my head inside her door, I had seen her moaning, almost crying inside her cot. Alarmed, I had come over to see what was wrong. She was sweating, despite the chill, and twitching in her sleep. At first I was worried she might have caught a fever, but after I had lifted her into my arms, and she had woken, clinging to me, it was clear she'd been having a nightmare. She sobbed gently into my shoulder for a minute, whilst I offered soothing words into her ear. Eventually she relaxed, and was soon asleep again in my arms. _

_As I lay her back into her cot, my mind and body swamped with love for my baby girl, the thought of a drink slid from my thoughts. Instead, the powerful urge just to sit and remain with my sleeping daughter, in case she were to be plagued with awful dreams again took over, and I lowered myself to the floor next to her, my hand clasping hers between the bars. I loved watching her sleep, I couldn't imagine any father who wouldn't. The hand which was not clasping mine, held the bed cover around her, a protective shield from the chill; her head shifting ever so subtly into a position she found the most comfortable; her still tiny frame curled slightly into a cradle; her breathing, a beautiful pulsing to my ears, steady and slow... in and out... in and out._

_In... and... out._

_I stood dressed plainly in white, from head to toe. This was strange, I never wore white. All around me I could see figures moving about, faceless, dressed totally in red, from head to toe, a menace about their walk- stealthy and cat-like. A walk I recognised from somewhere. I seemed to be outside, in a village of sorts, trees lining the perimeter, an entrapment of nature. I had never been to this village. That much I knew, yet its structure seemed familiar to me, like I understood why those trees were there. For some reason, I felt the need to observe my hands, so I did... and could help but notice a single deep cut, running the full length of my underhand, a river of blood- blood which refused to drip, which just kept moving along the cut, even when I flipped my hands so the palms faced the ground. I should have been astounded, but somehow it made sense, it made perfect sense. That much I knew. I began to walk forward, not really aiming for any place in particular. After a few paces, I realised that I hadn't moved. Despite moving, I hadn't. My body was fixed onto the spot and wouldn't move forward._

"_You need to walk backwards if you want to move," came a sudden voice, a voice I also knew too well._

"_Yuki." I stated. I turned and there she stood, dressed not in white or red, or even at all, her body naked in front of my eyes, her breasts resting on a large curved bump protruding from her torso, her hair longer than I remembered, waving in the breeze. _

"_You're never going to get anywhere if you keep walking forward like that," she claimed, her eyebrows raised in half amusement, half admonishment. _

"_I know, I'm sorry."_

_A sad smile came to her face, and she walked over and hugged me, softly, the bump on her torso very much in the way. She broke off, and turned to stand beside me, observing the faceless figures in red walking around us._

"_I don't like that bump Yuki. It gets in the way," I protested._

"_Hmm, what this?" she nestled her hands on the bump, "oh, I can get rid of this if you want," she offered._

_I nodded, and she obliged, the bump suddenly gone from her body, leaving it much as I remembered, slim and toned. I couldn't help but run my eyes down her bare frame, feeling the rush of lust inside, the need to take her right then._

"_You can do that if you want Takeo, but first you must know this isn't real," she warned._

"_So what if it's not real?" I spat, annoyed at her pointless statement._

"_I am a figure of guilt. Your mind is tricking you. Tricking you into trying to pleasure me out of guilt," her tone was passionless, a sheer statement of fact._

"_I never saw your body. I've never known for sure," I argued._

"_I'm dead Takeo."_

"_Then what are you doing here!" I asked, tears welling._

"_Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I'm not real. I'm as real as you need me to be."_

"_I need you to be?" I queried, confused._

"_You need something from me. That's why you called me here."_

"_No, wait, I didn't call you, you came to me!" I declared._

"_I can't come to you," she said, a sorry look in her eyes. She placed a hand on my shoulder. It felt cold, horribly cold; cold that could only stem from the dead. "I heard your voice, and I was brought here. You asked me to get rid of my bump so I did. I can only do what you ask me to."_

"_I don't understand."_

"_Think Takeo," she placed hand on my chin, a lot warmer than the one on my shoulder, "think what do you need right now?"_

_I did as she asked. I thought about Kaede and Shigeko, the Kikuta, Kenji and everything. I thought about what I wanted, what I needed to do for those who depended on me._

"_I... need courage. Courage to do what I must," I theorised._

"_There is no courage in what you must do Takeo. There is no courage in murder. Rage, pride, loyalty, even jealousy, but never courage in murder."_

_I felt myself shake inside. "Then what do I need?" I pleaded._

_She took a moment in replying, fully embracing me, half her body warm, half cold. "You need anger," she revealed._

"_Anger?"_

"_Terrible anger. Anger that can and will drive a man beyond all rational thought," she explained._

_I stood, watching the red figures, their colour seeming to become brighter to my eyes. "Anger," I mused._

"_Anger and angst. The anger to do what you must, the angst to contain it. You must have both Takeo. The angst alone will depress you, the anger will consume you."_

_Those red figures were almost blinding in their light now. "I have the anger," I proclaimed._

"_Yes, but you must discover the angst."_

"_How do I find it?" I wondered._

_She turned to face the red figures with me. "Look around," she offered._

_I did as she proposed, searching the red figures, the mist and landscape, the trees and blurred buildings, finding nothing that seemed to help._

"_Yuki," I began._

_"Sshhhhh," she cut me off, "he's coming."_

"_Who is?" _

"_Your son."_

_As she spoke, a blue figure emerged from within the red, walking towards us, deep blue eyes, a perfect copy of my own. I felt the breath leave my body and was unable to breath in for a moment. The son they had taken from me. The son predicted to be my demise. Yuki beamed a wide smile at the boy, not yet in his adolescent years. She wriggled free from my grasp, and approached the boy, embracing him on one knee. She stood, arm around him, turning back to face me._

_"You now have what you need. Remember Takeo, only by your angst can you survive."_

_And with that she was gone, the boy also. The red figures fading from sight. I stood, frozen in shock. Only by my angst could I survive._

_Only by our angst could we survive._

_I looked up, and found a heron following my steps above me. Slowly, as if a guide in the wilderness. I was aware of a figure walking next to me, I glanced over- Kaede. It was Kaede, yet it wasn't Kaede. That much I knew. It definitely wasn't Kaede, but it sure looked like Kaede. She turned to face me, a small smile slipping onto her face. No, it couldn't be Kaede. She had blue eyes, the same blue eyes I had seen in my son moments ago. Something clicked in my mind, suddenly I felt as if I knew who it was, I just couldn't remember._

_My eyes snapped open. Light was spilling in through the curtains, my head, resting against a bar. I pushed myself up, and felt no feeling in my leg, from where I'd been sitting on it all night. I looked for Shigeko's hand, which should have been in mine, but wasn't, because, as I realised when I looked up, both were holding on to the top of the cot, stood as she was, gazing down upon me, a curious look on her face, wondering whatever her dad was doing sleeping against her cot. As the feeling rushed back into my leg, bringing sharp stabs of pain with it, I looked up at my pride and joy, a smile breaking out on my face; a smile she returned. As I finally stood, and made to lift her from her cot, I couldn't help but notice her eyes this morning, more-so than usual. Sharp, deep and blue, just like mine._

…

I stood rigid against a tree, observing the pathway ahead. The rain, whilst still sweeping across my gaze, had all but stopped, leaving me free to spot everyone within the village and vica-versa. I had left the house, confident of a fairly free passage into the inner circle of the village, although I remained cusped on a knife-edge, my hearing having already let me down once tonight. I felt refreshed somewhat, having rested and eaten, and was sure of my tribal abilities being available again, although I would try only to use them whenever necessary. My shoulder still burned from the cauterizing of the wound, the mere thought of it still making my body shiver and my mind wince. The rain didn't help. My wet robes seeped water into the wound, which, whilst no longer bleeding, stung like nothing I'd ever felt before. I pushed the pain to the back of my mind.

I had a plan. Using the cover of night, I knew my enemy would be forced to spot me by hearing alone, and having been the only one ever to master the Nightingale Floor, I firmly believed in my ability to remain hidden from their ears. I imagined they would have all entrances into the core of the village equally manned, so I chose the pathway which offered the least amount of room to manoeuvre, less margin of error, for me or them. The pathway up ahead was shaded by trees on either side, and I was certain four of them contained a hidden agent, likely with bowstrings drawn. I made over the grass- a fatal move for most, the noise being far greater than that of the pathway. I took this for my advantage, light-footed, I intended to close in on them from behind. As I began to carefully yet swiftly skip over the sodden blades, I suddenly stopped dead, my head hit by a blind rush of disorientation.

Staggering, groggy and with only the brief moment of time for my mind to process that something was very, very wrong, I flopped forward, my head following my body down onto the grass. I felt tremors in my arms and legs as the blades doubled, the mud smeared the side of my head and the world crashed to black.


	8. Interlude

**WHAT SHIGEKO SAID**

**6. Interlude**

**...  
**


	9. Entr'acte

**WHAT SHIGEKO SAID**

**7. Entr'acte**

_It was the scent that (a)roused me. Seeping as it was up my nostrils not unlike a snake's stalking motion through grass, I found I could not ignore it. A thick, potent aroma, I came to an impasse inside, as the scent was saturated with danger and yet I knew I could not be hurt. _

_For the Nightingale Floor was singing._

_Several figures staggered around me, blurred, distant, hidden behind a veil of my own ineptitude. I strained, forehead creased, attempting to draw their features into motion and yet the harder I tried, the more distant they became. They formed into a semi-circle around me, dropping to one knee, prostrating before me. Their prostration was abhorrent to me; I had no desire for their service. Amongst them stood figures I knew, blurred but obvious in their purpose. They did not bow to me, no more than they bowed to Him. They bowed to Her._

_Kaede stood amongst them. This much I knew. She was hidden from me, just as she hid from them. I wanted to call out to her, pull her close, tell her it would all be fine but Kaede was gone, Kaede was lost. For if she hid from me, she would hide from everybody. _

_And Yuki. Yuki was also amongst them, all knelt before me and yet Yuki was the only one hidden against her will. Just as she had, just as she would again, she was desperate to reach me, to stand aside me again; maybe to lie beside me again._

_A distant _feeling _from beyond the veil forced me to look down, to observe myself. I found my own body naked in perfect clarity; taut and pulsing. Suddenly I felt ashamed to be stood before everyone in this way, unprotected and exposed to their hungry eyes. I sensed desire in many formations: violent, carnal, controlling and playful. I felt only two of them to be looking at me though; the rest were drooling at Her._

_Too many questions, too few answers and like the faces of those before me the harder I searched for a solution the more it eluded me. Then there was that scent; growing ever stronger by the moment, it pressed against my mind, demanding my attention. _

_Also, the Nightingale Floor was still singing._

Laughter. Sudden laughter from beyond the veil. With voices; sinister, deadly voices laced with venom. Crushing fear fulfilled me, for those voices would surely kill me if they got the chance and slowly, savouring every precious second of pain.

_The figures before me stood. Without any kind of command they began to split upon my gaze, literally breaking into two halves down the middle, void of any screams or any blood. It was then I was sure I was trapped, lost in a world between ours and the next. I felt a flushing panic develop in my chest, rising, overwhelming my arms, neck and head. I had to move. I needed to move, needed to run but as was the case, the more I tried, the more I failed._

_The now divided figures in front of me turned to face their other halves, opposite eyes of themselves cast upon each other. In this state, they abided, viewing themselves for the first time. Somewhere I felt Kaede scream as she saw her distorted face whilst Kaede spat in rage at her fragile weakness. Somewhere Kenji laughed as he saw his over-worn beard whilst Kenji began to tear it from his face. Somewhere Yuki began to cry at the cross of her eyebrows whilst Yuki's breath caught at its beauty. Only Shigeru seemed whole, even after he'd been split._

_The two halves, having observed themselves began to fight; they had to fight. Even as those who didn't want to fight, they all fought. Some fought with fury, others desperation. Most fought with tears. This was not a fight of fists, feet or fingers; there were no kicks aimed nor punches thrown- indeed none could do either. This was a fight of the mind. Divided bodies still, this was a battle of will. Some were over swiftly, one vastly stronger than the other; others took what seemed like forever. Yuki was the last one to fall, as Yuki collapsed to knees in despairing victory. Only Shigeru remained stood as two, Shigeru realising that Shigeru must concede to survive. And at last Shigeru stood alone._

_The winning halves turned to face me, again, lowering themselves to the ground. What I had seen was vile to me. In my mind, I demanded they reunite. Yuki stood, finally revealing to me which she was. She ran to me, whole again, embracing me, now also naked. I was swollen in her embrace, lost in the moment. Only once she had kissed me, hands locked behind my head did I remember Kaede stood watching. I felt her fury, my heart dropping as I understood which Kaede had won. Suddenly she rose from the ground, whole again, naked but burnt from head to toe, skin black, lightning blue eyes suddenly inches from my own- not her own but mine. And she screamed. A guttural scream ripping apart my mind, drowning out the Nightingale Floor. She stopped, she was gone, the song of the Nightingale lost; the scent of danger choking me, making it hard for me to breathe._

The voices from beyond the veil were growing distant, moving away, their laughter fading out.

_Only Shigeru remained before me, the rest swept away with Kaede's scream. Shigeru, still hidden from me, wanted nothing more than to console me and yet he did not. He simply stood, distant, waiting. I felt patience from him and cognition. In his state I abided, drawing from him the need to understand. This was easy. It was obvious once I tried. Shigeru knew he daren't appear before me as I was lost within my own mind and he knew, just as I did, that my body needed me and soon!_

_At my understanding Shigeru was gone, leaving me alone amidst the nothingness, the scent ever stronger still. I couldn't know what it was but I knew now not to try. I needed to piece it all together; the figures, the nightingale song, Shigeru and Kaede. I knew my body was in peril and I was running out of time. _

_I thought about what I had seen, how only Yuki and Shigeru had responded to my command. I thought about how Shigeru had remained whole, even in his splitting. I believed that Shigeru was who I needed to be, to remain whole, even when divided. I thought about Her and how those who had resisted my command had come to see Her and not me and had been destroyed by Kaede's scream._

_But it wasn't Kaede's scream because Kaede wasn't here, at least not in whole. Which meant her scream had come from me. Just as Yuki had appeared to me on my command, she had appeared in the state I wanted her to: naked, like me, driven as I was by my carnal desire for her body. Shigeru, whole, driven by my understanding desire for a loving father. Kaede and the others had appeared to Her, for what she desired, Kaede, not beautiful but burnt, bearing my deceiving eyes, not hers. For She was me and She had been here all along._

_I understood now. I understood what I needed to do. It was so painfully obvious now, for it had even been shown to me before my eyes._

_As the scent became thicker, taking on a smog consistency, I did what I had done countless times before, I cast out my second self, however, unlike those other times where She appeared as an image of me, She materialised in front of me in Her true form. She took my breath away with her beauty; a sleek, toned body of muscle, covered with a layer of silver fur, two brilliant blue eyes casting a gaze of unrestrained power and a bushy tail, swinging left to right as She pawed in front of me, softly, a walk of eloquent grace. Here She stood: my second self, the manifestation of my tribal power: exquisite, proud and deadly._

"_We need to become whole, you and I," I said, finally able to speak._

_She strutted in front of me, casually, taunting me, in full confidence of her control._

"_We used to be that way, didn't we, both working towards the same goal," I offered, finally regaining feeling in my arms, "but you're selfish. You want to exist on your own, you want to be free of me; free of the conscious choices of a troubled mind. You see me as emotive, confused... needlessly conflicted."_

_She stopped in front of me, laying down on the ground, head resting on arms. She was appearing bored with me but She was me and I could feel Her anger inside._

"_You need to understand how much I wish I could be you. How many sleepless nights I've imagined what it must be like to not have to worry about responsibilities and consequences, to not have to _care _what others think." Her tail was beginning to swish violently in the air, Her façade breaking. "Sometimes, all I wish I could be is you, where I would run out into the night and let the consequences be damned, doing only what I want to do."_

_My fingers and toes were beginning to twitch. "We've been there before, you and I, we both know what happens when I let you run free, when you have it all your own way." She was furious, seething, breath caught in an attempt to remain in control. "You know what you will do. And you know why you can not be allowed to do it."_

_The air was becoming humid, my breathing and heart rate double what it should be. She was being overloaded by my same desperation, as Her body came to life, mine was starting to respond. I knew I had to take a chance for I was out of time. _

"_I'm going to give it to you straight. You think that I've been a slave to your desire, submitting to your every need whilst you've been the one in control? Well you're wrong; I've been the one whose given you control, whereas you're the slave to your own desires."_

_With this, She leaped from the ground with stunning speed, charging at me. She jumped up from the floor, tackling me in the chest, knocking me off balance. I turned with all I had, breaking into motion, rolling with Her jump so She fell off me. I tried to stand again but She was far faster, diving on top of me, pinning me to the ground. As She did I knew what I had to do and I went limp underneath Her. She growled on top of me, trying to scare me into submitting but I knew She couldn't hurt me. She was me._

"_You are far the stronger than I but you must know you can't survive alone. Without me, you are a weapon to be harnessed, a deadly combination of abilities and skills to be controlled by another. Without me, you will become a tool. With me, you can be the means to my end." She began to tremble on top of me, anger subsiding to fear. "It's this reason I cannot let you run alone any-more. It's up to you whether you become one with me again or I end it all."_

_She was battling her rage, refusing to choose. The air was almost unbreathable, it had to be done now. _

_"Join me, now. If you can't... then I'm sorry." _

_With that I grabbed Her by the back of the head, holding Her eyes to mine. I called upon the Kikuta Sleep, watching as She was forced into obeying my command. She fought it for a moment before finally succumbing to my gaze. Her eyes were drawn into mine and I could see Her no more._

My eyes snapped open. I was strapped to a wooden pole, naked. I felt the stabbing pain in my shoulder and I knew I had found my body again. I had not the time to think, however, before I saw the source of the husky aroma: fire, the building around me ablaze and closing in. I could hear the voices clearly now, running swiftly away, laughing at their apparent success in killing me. I spotted a bottle on the floor beside me; I had been sedated and I knew I had woken far sooner than I should have done. I fought against the binding, trying to break free but it was expertly tied.

I knew I had only one option and I prayed that what had happened behind the veil had worked. I spotted Jato and my other belongings stuffed into a corner behind a burning table, well out of reach. Needing that blade, my life dependant, I needed Her, now, more than ever. I took a deep breath and cast my Second Self into the open.


	10. Dissonance Pt 1

**WHAT SHIGEKO SAID**

**8. ****Dissonance Pt. 1**

"Don't move."

I pressed the point of Jato into the back of his neck, one sudden move and he would be dead in a heart beat; his own fault, really for allowing me to flank him the way I had. He knew it too, rooted as he was, finally releasing that breath he had been holding. I listened to the sinews of his formation lose that horrid tautness they had adopted and I knew he knew I had him.

"Now, what we're going to do is have a conversation, in which you are going to tell me where and how I can escape, at which point, I might find the answer to a question I've been asking myself all night," I paused, letting my words sink in, "that being, whether I've finally mastered enough control of me- enough at least to let you live."

My mind seemed to be functioning on its own, I was speaking the words and yet they weren't my own. They weren't Hers either. They seemed to come from both of us and yet from neither. I blinked; the drugs they'd sedated me with were affecting my judgement, for all my energy was lost within the sword.

"Now when I say, you're going to walk, _slowly_, towards that tree and then bind your hands around the trunk with your garotte... and don't think of trying anything stupid or you'll make my decision for me, do you understand what I'm saying to you, right now? He nodded. "Good, then move."

Move he did. His footsteps assumed an alternating rhythm, attempting to deceive me into taking a false step, yet we walked in synchrony. Only once we reached the tree did it occur to me what he had tried to do and I was angry and yet thankful to my body for keeping me out of the loop. I waited, eyes affixed to the in-grove in his neck where Jato was pressed, prepared to release her at the first notice but Jato remained still.

Once his hands were securely bound, I swung the hilt of Jato at the back of his head. He slumped to his knees, head resting on upon his bound arms. I took the opportunity to focus my hearing, making certain we hadn't been followed. I figured that with the time it would take for them to douse the fire I had about twenty minutes grace before they would come looking for me, by which point, I would need to make good my exit. We were clear; the fools were still laughing at my supposed ignorance.

Taking a length of fabric from my belt, I crouched, lifting his flaccid head up in my left hand; I jammed the fabric into his mouth, tying it tight around the back of his neck. I removed a flask of water from my pack, taking a gulp before slinging the rest into his face. He woke, spluttering, thrashing against the tree as he re-discovered the peril he was in all over again. He stood, eyes scanning for his captor- for me. They settled upon my face, a look of visceral hatred settling onto his.

"Have you ever been oversees Akio?" I began, "you see I have, ever since I took control over the Three Countries, making it a far better place to be by eliminating the likes of you, it's been my job to look for opportunities to help it flourish, doing what the Emperor is too sick and too lazy to do."

I began to pace around the tree, Jato never a lethal strike out of reach from him. "You know, there is so much more out there than the Three Countries; in fact, the Three Countries is tiny compared to other places in this world of ours. You go north west from here and you come across a huge landmass, as far as the eye can see. They call it _Tshoongca_."

I stopped in front of him. "Astonishing place, full of fabrics and foods I had never seen before. Took me a while to understand their speech, it's a little different from ours. Anyway, about three years ago, I took a vacation from the Three Countries- from the relentless diplomacy and brainwashed assassination attempts... to this place and I met a man, not a native like the rest but a fellow traveller like me. He'd come oversees on a voyage much longer than my own, his homeland was a far distant land which he called _Francia_, it translates as Furansu in our tongue."

"Well I got to know him quite well and we spoke a lot about trade and culture, then one time towards the end of his visit he used a certain phrase, a certain term which has stuck with me ever since- it was '_Coup __de grâce', _which means 'deathblow', usually to a wounded animal or warrior... and I can't help but find it rather appropriate to out current situation, as you had me and failed to deliver the '_Coup __de grâce'_, and now I have you and, one way or another, wont."

"I say that because, this traveller- Jean, was his name, also gave credence to that term being used in another light, that being the last in a long series of events and that's precisely what this is- the last in a long series of events.".

I felt rage stir within me, with me; not from Her but with me. "You see I despise you Akio. I despise you for what you've made me become. Everything that I've done tonight to get to you, to silence you and your teachings; to remove the last in a line of oppression against everything I'm trying to acomplish: a fair world for all where people can grow as a culture, not afraid of zealots like you, like the Tribe, and the Tohan. It's your selfish pride that has driven me to this!"

I felt Jato begin to twitch in my hand, feeling that its time was close. "There will be no forgiveness for you in the afterlife and after tonight I doubt there will be for me, either. I will burn at the mercy of Enlightened One or at the hand of the Hidden God of my mother and that is because of you. I just hope and pray that someway my mother will find it within herself to forgive me even though I don't deserve it."

I glared into his eyes and through all the hatred I saw fear. His heart betrayed his fear; his body, fighting against his mind, not wanting to die. I listened to it's irregular beats and I knew it quivered with the fear. Jato was shaking. "This is the '_Coup __de grâce'," _I declared.

It was meant to be.

But it wasn't.


	11. Recitative

**WHAT SHIGEKO SAID**

**9. Recitative**

Shigeko rose from the ground at the sight of the old man, her face instinctively breaking into a beaming smile.

It had been many months since Kenji had visited Hagi, his worsening health making it tougher for him to travel.

For Shigeko, the harsh truth that her dear old grandfather was reaching the end of his days was one she could not accept. The book she had been reading cascaded to the grass with a soft thud, it's wisdom forgotten for now. Shigeko broke into a run,

Kenji's arms barely with the time to open before she'd locked him into a tight embrace.

"Grandpa!" she squealed, heart filled with joy.

"Hello, dear 'Geko, why you look wonderful child."

Shigeko glowed as she stood straight, sweeping into an elegant curtsey, eyes wide, awaiting approval.

"Oh... thank you," stuttered Kenji, rather taken aback.

"I've been practising! A lady in the city showed me how. It's good manners!"

Kenji couldn't help but marvel. It had not yet been a year since he'd last seen his favourite girl and in that time she barely seemed to be much of a girl at all any more. Were it not for her child-like energy and lack of grace, from a distance, she would easily pass as a young woman.

"My dear, you need curtsey to no-one, least of all me!"

"Are you here to see father?"

"I'm here to see you!"

"Liar! You're always here to see father."

"No, I'm genuinely here to see you. I've brought you something."

For as long as Shigeko could remember, Kenji had had the amazing ability to produce things out of seemingly mid-air. Many times she'd asked him how he did it, to which he always used to whisper "Magick." He was lying of course, he always lied but this didn't deter Shigeko. She'd made a promise as a young girl that she would find out how he did it one day. She'd never been able to and Kenji always used to laugh and tell her to keep trying. A few years back, Kenji had produced, out of nothing, a wonderment of gift to her: a magnificent wooden carving of a white stallion, which Shigeko had had next to her bed ever since. Some nights she would swear she could hear the carving grunt as she fell asleep but could never remember the following morning.

This first time he'd brought her a carving, her father had also been present in the room and had chucked at her amazement as he did it. Some months ago, Shigeko had challenged her father about how grandpa always managed to do his tricks but father had said he didn't know. She didn't believe him any more than she did Kenji.

All this crossed her mind now as

Kenji suddenly held out a beautiful brown chestnut in his hand

causing the second automatic yelp of glee in as many minutes. Shigeko grabbed the mare, kissing her grandpa and caressing the carving in her fingers. It wouldn't be until some time later that Shigeko would remark upon the fact that this was the first time she'd had to lower herself down to reach his cheek.

"You made me a brown one!"

"Well that was the only one you were missing, I believe, so I took special time with this one."

"It's beautiful, thank you."

Kenji nodded, again a little taken aback by her new-found elegance.

It is, perhaps, the most trying and yet wonderful time, in a child's upbringing, the period when they begin to enter adolescence, for both them and their loved ones.

For Shigeko, here she stood, a girl, but three weeks into her twelfth year, her body leagues ahead of her mind maturing. For Takeo and Kaede, watching their 1st living child take the first steps of development into the individual she will become will be a heart-warming, proud time, as they see her take on the name of the lady who will, one-day, command it all.

However, no amount of pride held in between the blades of the earth could replace the feeling of loss they will experience when it dawns on them their baby girl doesn't need Mama and Papa to live any more. The conflict of a parent: the selfish need to be everything for your child, against the selfless wish to watch her as she stands alone, hair billowing out behind her, in the wind.

The emotional trials of her parents that lay ahead were, of course, oblivious to Shigeko as she absorbed all the details of her new mare.

"The fourth horse to mark the fourth year before the coming of age," mused Kenji, casting a thoughtful eye down upon the transitional girl, "the day of spring break next year, you must begin to study the arts and crafts that will make you into your father's heir- the heir to the throne of the three countries."

A small smile attempts to break through but is held by the anxious fear of a girl not ready to grow up. Shigeko says nothing, rather, again, loses herself in the deep eyes and wavy tail of her latest prize.

"Kiyo," she suddenly blurts aloud, "her name is Kiyo."

Kenji smiles, "of course it is 'Geko."

Shigeko lowers herself back to the ground, placing Kiyo next to her, "mama's inside, if you wish to see her."

"I will. It was lovely to see you kid, I'll make sure I say goodbye."

Shigeko nods and picks up her book

as Kenji headed towards the veranda he couldn't help but feel as if he'd shattered something inside her

lost as she was, hair now dappled around her eyes.

She was on page fifty-three.

Kenji swept inside the majestic house, soaking in the Nightingale's tune. Some odd times ago, he had tried to will the floor remain silent with his toes but had long since given up trying to silence her swirling tones. He'd even once asked Takeo for the secret on how to do it. Takeo had said he didn't know.

A few best wishes and customary greetings to the staff later, Kenji glanced upon a touching scene. Preparing to knock upon a partially open door, Kenji spied, inside, Lady Kaede, knelt on the ground next to a cot, a soundly sleeping twin girl laid inside of it, the other, very much awake, draped over her shoulder. It was she, the waken twin, who spotted him first. Still fairly unsure of who he was, the girl, rather than smile or greet him, meekly tapped his mother on the shoulder, before pointing a chubby finger straight at his face.

Kaede turned, lifting the girl into her arms from the ground, her divine gown flowing around with her as she saw him. Eyebrows rose, lips parted as she saw who it was, a slightly too delayed reaction before she broke into a smile most remarkably like Shigeko's. She placed the girl on the ground.

"Miki, why don't you go find your father? And see if he wants some tea."

Miki simply nodded, turning on heel and bolting from the room.

"Don't-"

but she was gone.

"-run?" suggested Kenji.

Kaede sighed, "it's Takeo's fault. He seems to feel they should be allowed to run unchecked around the house."

"I'm not so sure he has the wrong idea." Kenji allowed himself a chuckle.

"I presume you're here to see him?"

"I am. Although I fibbed a bit to Shigeko about that. I brought her the brown mare."

"You shouldn't have," Kaede scolded, "it's time she grew out of such things."

"I'm afraid she's scared to. I believe she knows all too well the real meanings of my visits," Kenji paused, "the life she has yet to come."

"How could she?" Kaede demanded, eyes suddenly concerned, "we have made sure she's been away from such... discussions."

"Don't underestimate her Kaede, she's every bit the woman you grew up to be inside; resourceful and as bright as they come."

Kaede considered this

it was in fact the first moment Kaede would find herself truly divided with regards to her daughter.

"What is this about, Kenji? It would be nice if you would bring some good news for once only."

"I understand why my visits are not warmly received. I'm afraid it's not the best news. Akio is moving in the west."

The slightest colour drained from Kaede's face. "Moving where?"

"East."

Kaede said nothing.

She didn't need to either, as rapidly approaching footsteps were heard coming up the stairs. A moment later, Miki came bounding back in.

Kaede didn't even have the strength to scold her.

"Father is up at the castle mama, he was called a bit ago."

"Thank you Miki, now go and rest."

Miki, understanding the command, dutifully trotted off.

"I must head up to see him now," Kenji began, hesitantly, "will you be joining us?"

"No." Kaede's declaration was sudden and definitive. "Discuss with him what you must, I will talk with him later."

Kenji nodded, eyes downcast. "Apologies, my lady." Kenji placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder as he paced out of the room.

Kaede breathed in deeply before lowering herself back down next to Maya's cot on the floor.

Takeo's chin rested on his thumbs, fingers inter-locked as he considered Kenji's words.

Kenji sat across from him on the floor, observing the micro-signals that crossed the brow of the Three Countries reigning ruler. Kenji saw anger, concern, due consideration, a depth of focus unlike most ever seen across the eyes of Otori Takeo. Most prominently though, Kenji saw regret.

"The timing of this can't be co-incidental. It's no mistake they're mobilising on the verge of Shigeko's coming of age."

"I thought we covered that by bringing it forward," Takeo's following groan was quite the aberration, "how do they know Kenji? This kind of leak can only have come from the Muto."

"I fear you are right. There have always been those who resented my decision to side with you."

"Deal with it Kenji. It is your responsibility to quash any such insurrection, if you had acted sooner in what I asked you to do this wouldn't be a problem!"

"You asked murder of me, Takeo. I have done a lot for you I didn't want to-"

"You have done a lot _to _me as well."

"-but I will not execute members of my own clan," Kenji halted, "not any more."

Takeo's eyes hardened. "You're too soft Kenji. The approach of your own death has strayed your hand, not to mention your mind."

"It was you who vowed to end such brutality Lord Otori," Kenji chided, "lest you not forget that it wasn't me who walked alone into a Kikuta village with the sole intention of murdering Kikuta Akio."

Takeo's eyes turned down.

"It wasn't me who had him at the tip of my sword, only to walk away," Kenji saw guilt.

"Jato... rejected him," Takeo's protest was weak, and he knew it.

"Jato cannot reject anyone," Kenji paused, making a choice, "tell me, Lord Otori, was there anyone in that village aside from Akio who made it out alive?"

Takeo said nothing.

"That inferno's flames spread farther than even you know," a moment, "they burn still."

"Yes, I made a mistake, you did too, the moment you refused to do what had to be done," Takeo's voice broke, "if they target Shigeko..."

"They will target Shigeko. Their grudge no longer dies with you. They know she's the reason you went to the village that night."

Takeo listened. His hearing was beginning to falter, he could no longer reach the bridge, yet still, loud and clear against the chatter, he could hear the turning of the pages of the book she held.

She was on page sixty-one.

"If Shigeko falls-"

"She will not fall!" Takeo hissed, venom infused in every word.

Kenji held up his hand, "apologies Takeo but it needs to be said. If she falls, the line will be broken. With Akio in possession of your son we cannot be sure how much time you have left. Shigeko needed the time to learn. When you fall, she will need to able to galvanise the support of the Emperor. If she falls before you do, all that you have built here will be lost."

Takeo snarled, "she must begin her studies now."

"I'm afraid it's too soon. Exposing her to the crafts of diplomacy, law, not to mention the Kikuta... you run the risk of her being swayed towards the need to protect you," Kenji considered his words, "her heart still lies with the heron."

Takeo stood abruptly. "I've brought enough misery upon her. I will not allow her to suffer by my hands any more." Takeo began to move away, towards the ante-chamber.

Kenji's brow was furrowed as he watched Takeo go, "Kaede will resent you for a long time. She may never forgive you."

Takeo stopped, staring at the wall with eyes that saw not one stone, "She was never going to forgive me either way."

Takeo knelt the floor, his thoughts already amongst the prayer he was saying to the Enlightened One.

Shigeko's eyes blurred without warning, dark spots suddenly dropping onto the book in her hands, the ink becoming immediately loose, words smudged.

Those words would soon be lost for ever.

Shigeko's hand instinctively clutched the brown chestnut in her hand.

This brown chestnut would be the only one who would never grunt to her in that infinite moment between sleep and wake.

Shigeko shook her head, slamming the book closed, before running off into the house.

She would never open that book again.

She had been on page 67.


End file.
